Fish Tales

A few weeks ago, we went on a cruise to the Bahamas, and now we wish we could go back.

 

That's about all that needs saying about how awesome it was.

Fun story time!

Wino and I went snorkeling - me for the first time. Which was awesome, and also hilarious. Wino and I had gotten out a little bit far from the rest of our group, so when we heard the tour guide calling, I assumed he just wanted us to come in further to keep an eye on us. After looking at all the pretty fishes, I started paddling back closer to the catamaran, and then the tour guide threw a piece of food right by where I was swimming. 

About two hundred fish swarmed around me to get the food, so I did the natural thing. I screamed, flailed wildly, lost my snorkel, got nibbled by fish, and swallowed a giant gulp of saltwater as my life jacket got pressed against my cheek and began to deflate. Meanwhile, both Wino and the tour guide, who had seen the entire thing, were laughing hysterically. I told Wino later that I should have just thrown up the seawater then, because it made me feel sick for a few hours afterwards, and he laughed. "The fish would have seen it as food!" he said. "You'd have just started a cycle."

Feeling thoroughly embarrassed, I paddled back to the boat. Adding insult to injury, the tour guide threw the little life-saver donut at me! I sniffed, set it aside, and swam back to the boat myself, goddamit, and pulled my own mortified ass back on board.

That night, I had dreams of tiny fishes dragging me underwater to their sea dungeon. And that, folks, is my fun (and funny) story from the cruise!

Cajun Chicken Pasta and Cruz Alta Chardonnay

Today, Wino and I went for our very first walk. We're getting a head on our New Year's resolutions; we've started walking in the evenings, and we've worked out a "tighten-your-belt" budget that we've already started. Crazy!

Since we burned all those many, many calories walking, it was a good night to make Cajun Chicken Pasta.

Basically, it's delicious. Wino tells me that if I made it every single week, he would never get tired of it. I have a sneaking suspicion that I could eat it every day, and he would never complain... although we would both get extremely fat. It's the kind of meal that is so good you feel obligated to have seconds.

So, if you get a chance, try that recipe. Or come to our house, and I'll make it for you!

With dinner, we had Cruz Alta Chardonnay.



It's the white wine little brother of our "house red", the Cruz Alta Malbec, and we enjoy it. It's sweet, but it doesn't linger on your tongue. It's also perfect for chicken (I cooked with it as well as drinking it with dinner).

Now if only I would do the other things that I meant to do today: laundry, cleaning the guest room, video games... but I'm just so content and full of pasta.

Happy Thanksgiving, Belated.

This is what was happening Thanksgiving morning, about 8 AM:

Let me back up and explain. (That isn't our oven in the picture, I just found it because pictures are worth a thousand words.)

Wino and I were asked by his unit on Wednesday to cook a turkey for their Thanksgiving dinner. He agreed, but since I was at work all day Wednesday, it was left to him to actually cook the sucker by himself.

Which he did, and by all accounts his turkey was delicious. It was also, however, extremely juicy. He told me that it dripped into the extremely deep roasting pan and overfilled it, spilling all over the oven floor. But lest you think that's what set the oven on fire, remember - it was only Wednesday.

After a delightful Wednesday evening with friends, we both woke up at about 4 AM Thursday determined to clean the entire downstairs and get a dinner cooked up for our friends coming over for Thanksgiving. So, at about 5 am, I scrubbed out the oven (which was covered in some pretty nasty burned-up turkey drippings) with oven cleaner. This smoked a little, but we got the house aired out, and at 7:45 am, I began to preheat the oven for a pie. Unfortunately, after the house got extremely smoky, we checked the oven... and IT WAS ON FIRE.

Let me reiterate.

We're very lucky people, folks. Wino immediately doused the fire with a fire extinguisher, we called the housing company for the neighborhood we live in, and we had a new oven in our house in two hours. On Thanksgiving.

And then we had to clean the kitchen of that nasty fire extinguisher powder.

So, what do you think it was? The oven cleaner, or the turkey drippings from the day before? We've settled on the third option - the oven was extremely old and was going to go anyways (we've had issues with it for almost a year) and we just gave it the opportunity.

Why I can't take Wino anywhere.

Do you really hate grocery shopping? Not as much as my delightful husband. It doesn't matter how disgusting the kitchen is; he will always opt to clean the kitchen rather than go with me to the commissary. Today, though, I managed to "convince" him to come with me. Also known as whining.

Things my husband does in the commissary:
1. Complains about how fast I walk.
2. Walks really slowly.
3. Eyes every tasty looking thing that isn't on the list.
4. Sighs heavily.
5. Convinces me to pick up things for him (and me) that I would normally never get.

Basically, he's a large, mostly well-behaved child.

Today, he had managed to talk me into getting some nut/fruit/granola mix and a bottle of green tea for him, and a glass bottle of lemonade for me. I was actually a little excited about the lemonade, which is why it will surprise no one that while loading the groceries onto the conveyer belt, Mr. Wino dropped the glass bottle onto his foot, where it shattered.

His foot is, thankfully, fine. Our dignity was bruised pretty hard; almost all the friends I have who work at the commissary witnessed it, and my subsequent sigh of, "THIS is why we can't have nice things!"

So, the moral of the story is that I should probably shop alone.

Caramels and Beer

Mr. Wino and I both have our vices. Mine is anything crunchy and salty - potato chips, pretzels, goldfish crackers, you name it. My dear husband, however, has a beast of a sweet tooth. If we buy a pint of ice cream, I will eat three spoonfuls, and he will devour the rest. He confessed to me recently that he can eat himself sick on his favorite sweet, caramels.

I didn't believe it. So while we were in a Godiva store, we bought some truffles (for me) and a bag of caramels (for him). In four hours, the caramels were gone. I'm still savoring my truffles.

Now that he had proved his addiction, he asked me to not buy them for him. So naturally, I went to Trader Joe's on Wednesday and bought some for him.

Mr. Wino did a really good job that night - he only ate three, then asked me to "hide them". But since I'm pretty sure he could sniff them out anywhere I stuck them, I tucked them right next to my chair. And amazingly, he had the self-control to not go looking for them... but tonight, I pulled them out, and we ate a few, and again he asked me to hide them.

I was determined to find a better hiding spot for them this time. So I sauntered into the kitchen and tucked them somewhere I was sure he wouldn't go looking, then (kind of smugly) sat back down.

A few minutes later:

Him: You know what I'm going to have for lunch tomorrow?
Me: What?
Him: A peanut butter and banana sandwich.
Me: Well, crap!
Him: What?
Me: I have to find a better place for the caramels. I put them between the peanut butter and the bananas! Damn it!

Of course, he laughed hysterically. He's a wizard, y'all.

On a boozy note, we went out to an early dinner tonight at a restaurant/brewery called DuClaw's. They make many very tasty beers, and we sampled a few. I had their Euphoria, which tastes a bit like toffee, and is very smooth. It's my "usual". Mr. Wino had both the Twisted Kilt, a typical Scotch ale that he said was strong but a good choice, and another seasonal, 31º, which was "double spiced" and which we both thought was delicious.

Now we're at home, hanging out with some new books we treated ourselves to. Happy Friday to us all!

P.S. Tomorrow, the Suit Project begins. Dun dun duuunnnnn...

Wine Wednseday, aka Pour Decisions

Aperitif de choix: 2010 Angelini Pinot Grigio Veneto (delicious), 2007 Kestrel Falcon Series Syrah, (more delicious-er) J.K.'s Scrumpy Hard Cider

First off, get yourself a glass of the aforementioned hard cider. Second, hey everyone! Just a quick update, don't have much to talk about tonight. Bottled my various boozes, I'm particularly excited about the stout. The mead will be ready by... December 2012?

Right, well this wine won't drink itself. Cheers!

It runs in the family.

I met Mr. Wino's grandfather when we were still in college. I was wearing an oversized camo jacket and had green hair, so when I reappeared several years later marrying his grandson, it took him a few minutes to place the young woman he had clearly assumed was a lesbian. Despite his surprise, he and Grandma Wino immediately welcomed me into their family as if I had been born into it.

One of my most memorable times with Grandpa Wino was actually right after the funeral of his wife two years ago, when he shuffled all of us grandkids into his living room and poured all of us glasses of straight tequila. Of course, not being a connoisseur of that sort, my husband immediately gulped his down. That was when we learned to sip tequila, not just shoot it. Within 30 minutes we were all uncomfortably sloshed, except for Grandpa Wino, who just smiled and sipped his tequila, like the drinking pro he was.

I think Grandpa Wino would have approved of how we spent the weekend - laughing with family, and drinking lots of alcohol.

Rest in peace, EzPa.

Sorry for the late update

Tonight's Wine: Terra Barossa 2008 Shiraz Cabernet Petit Verdot, 4/5 stars

It's been a while since we've updated. Apologies, loyal reader(s). Let's catch up!
I ran the Army Ten Miler in 80 minutes, and the Baltimore Marathon in 4:23:19. Soon I'll be training for the HAT 50k Trail Run, up yonder Susquehanna Trail. A friend of mine signed up for the Run for Your Life, a race I had hoped to run in December 2012, but was unable to run it due to extremely poor race coordination.

Aaaaand by now all you non-runners are bored, so lets shift gears. My grandfather, possibly one of the greatest winos of all, sadly passed away last Thursday night. We all miss him very much, but more importantly, you should all know that I am the man you read before you largely because of his influence. He enjoyed life to the fullest, and was adored by so many. He was charitable, loving, and passionate, and the world is better for his mark on it. We here at the Wino household raise our glasses to him tonight.

On a brighter note, my oatmeal stout is ready to bottle! It came out a little smooth for a stout, so I'm debating making it a coffee stout, but I think I'd rather not fix what isn't broken.

In other news, my mead has more or less cleared, but I'll leave it in the fermenter for another couple of weeks, since it won't hurt it. After that it's in the bottles, corking, and we'll see how it tastes next zombie jeezus birfday.

And to conclude, I have a non wine recommendation. To celebrate completing my marathon, Winette gifted me with a fine bottle of scotch. Try Macallan's 10 year single malt. It's triple casked in sherry seasoned oak, giving you a medium flavored, smooth scotch with sweet undertones. Drink it neat. Or else.

Prost!

Zombies and cardio

Today was a pretty busy day. I went to the Baltimore Running Festival race expo and picked up some cool stuff. I had originally intended to frame the race shirt, since this will be my first full marathon but its actually a pretty cool shirt, so maybe not.

To me race expos are kind of like christmas. You walk in the door and right off the bat someone hands you a bag with free stuff in it. Then you go pick up your number, and then you get a t-shirt. After that you walk around and maybe score some more free stuff or find a good deal on something you've wanted. Fun all around.

Oooh and funny story about us winos. Those of you that know my secret identity may be aware that my phone was possesed by the spirit of a rabid squirrel. Well, after almost a month of fighting the phone company we finally got them to order a replacement, but they shipped it to the middle of nowhere.

The missus and I saddled up and started our long journey when she notices a school.
Her: "Oh look at all the kids, so eager to learn... inside their... barbed wire fence... what's the world coming...oh nevermind there's a laboratory next door"
Me: "That's not better. That's how the zombie apocalypse starts. All you need is a foggy day... like today... Honey, drive faster."
Her: *locks doors*

Maybe you had to be there.

Liquid Jolly

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Dang, the seasons are changing, and I need a good beer to get me through the winter." Ok, you probably weren't really thinking that, but I felt like writing about beer, so just play along.

Some of my favorite beers are the dark, malty beers that are traditionally served in winter. I'm mixing up some high ABV Oatmeal Stout in my fermenter right now, but in the meantime, here's some suggestions you may not have heard about:

Troeg's Troegenator Double Bock

Coming in at 8.2%, this Doppelbock tastes great and will get you where you want to go

Victory Storm King Stout

I love pretty much any beer by Victory brewery, but this one is dark, broody, and a personal favorite.

Killian's Irish Red

I like this beer all year long. It's pretty much a staple in my diet.

and finally, Yuengling. It's easy to find, a little lighter, and tastes great.

What are your winter beers?

Tonight's Brew.

Shock Top Belgian White Unfiltered Beer



This beer is another staple of our household, although Mr. Wino does enjoy making his own. (Mr. Beer is his kit of choice, though he's getting into trying his hand at meads and ciders with just a recipe. He loves to tinker.) It's light, and extremely drinkable; after a crazy day like today, I come home and pour myself a beer... or two.

They also make a Raspberry beer, which I love, but Mr. Wino thinks is a little sweet. Then again, he likes his beers a bit more hoppy/bitter than I do, which is okay.